Like many others before and since I learned
How to be both big and small from Ernest.
And many have noted
How very well he knew to be himself.
But those of us who thrilled, who longed, for those adventures
Not of the body but of the soul
But were diverted, by pain, by cowardice, by chance
By the simple incapacity to perceive oneself in a golden light
By a tremor in the belly that refused to be quieted
Or minimized, and, in final truth
By lack of talent, sought nonetheless the glow
That even in a pinch will pass as bliss.
I sat at a wooden table with an artist friend
In the ivied hall where we both hid in youth
And planned, in a moment, to flee to freedom, but
The small was easy, particularly
In this diminished age, when all are grand
And the great ignored or soon forgotten, and
Suffering on wide display is seen as courage
And the second coming has come and gone
And left behind such unremarkable wreckage
Hardly noticed by those who waited far too long.
The mountains climbed, though steep and breath absorbing
Then, turned out to be mere hills, from which the view
Of the surrounding world was scant. We then sallied home
Content, in moments, with having walked at least
Or in truth at times crawled
Over obstructions he would have taken
In a single bold step. We thought, at least
Of greatness and knew enough to know
That we were the Sherpas of the Everest climb
And through him, however drunk or misogynistic
We glanced, we thought, and we turned away.